As we crossed the line into Utah, I said to James, “I can’t believe people bitch about this drive. I mean, I’m not having a bad time, are you?†James shook his head. “That’s ‘cause they’re bitches,†he said. I laughed.
So we’re almost to Miller, short for Miller Motorsports Park, a mecca of motorsports near Salt Lake City. The track is big, wide and beautiful, with a lovely flow, and they’re holding World Superbike here this weekend where all eyes will be on Ben Spies, America’s latest great roadracing hope. I’ll also be keeping an eye on Melissa Paris and Marie Josee Boucher, who might be the first two women to ever race in World Supersport.
But what we’re really here for is to make some money. James is entered in the big-purse Larry H. Miller Superbike Challenge, and I’m stoked to be his mechanic again. I even have an official Team Suzuki collared shirt, which I was so excited about that I had to buy some cute new sneakers and jean shorts to wear it with.
It’ll be a great weekend, win or lose.
Also on my mind today is Sutton Helvey-Chandler, the racer who was killed six days ago at Barber while practicing for the weekend’s WERA race. She collided with a cornerworker who was on the track, supposedly to remove a dead bird, and they were both killed. She was a wife, mother and an HR professional. So tragic, and it hits home so much more because, well, we were even the same age and it could have been me.
Of course, once your leathers are zipped up and the face shield is down, and you stretch left and stretch right as you head out from your pit to the track, these thoughts are long gone. They have to be. It’s when you’re back from the race weekend and faced with unopened mail and hungry cats that a little part of you wonders why on earth a girl like you feels compelled to do this.
And yet I do.
I think about the risks. Isn’t it crazy not to? I feel very at peace with multiple scenarios. I love my life and want to continue living it, and would feel sad to inflict pain on those who love me, but I have to say I wouldn’t be devastated if my life ended. How could I be? It would just be a dark, fast, silent close to a fantastic life lived.
And not to trivialize paralysis, but I don’t fear it. I’m at a time in my life when I’m enjoying to the fullest those things I can do with an able body; there are a hundred thousand things I’d love to do and see and learn about and experience that don’t require legs. Shit, there’s even wheelchair tennis tournaments. Full body paralysis would be tough…I might have to pull a Million Dollar Baby in that scenario, but hey, Christopher Reeve was strong enough to fight through it.
I think that James thinks I’m a bit weak for thinking things like this through. He just puts it all out of his mind, puts his head down, and races. But he’s a racer, and I’m just a girl learning how to race. Maybe someday I’ll be a racer, but I hope that doesn’t mean I lose my penchant for deep contemplation.
I hope that everyone has a safe weekend. One of our AFM SV girls, Zoe Rem, will be racing at Portland this weekend which is cool because I don’t think there are even any girls, let alone fast girls, up that way until you get to Canada. I love all my racer girls… It takes a lot for women who haven’t grown up with it to get up and go racing. You all continually inspire and challenge me. Kick ass and stay safe.
xoxo
Christie
